You keep noticing the same patterns—this is where you change them.

The Belonging Reset™

Transforming Patterns in Relationships, Identity, and Life Transitions

For women who see what’s happening—but can’t seem to change it

BEGIN THE RESET 
You’re not stuck. You’re patterned.

You may have already done the insight work.

You can see the patterns.
You can name what’s happening.

And yet—something familiar keeps repeating.

In relationships.
In how you show up.
Even after major life changes.

You notice:

  • The same relationship dynamics showing up with different people

  • Overthinking, emotional loops, or people-pleasing patterns

  • A pull between wanting closeness and protecting yourself

  • Feeling like you’re outgrowing who you’ve been—but not fully landing somewhere new

  • Moving, starting over, or changing environments—only to find the same patterns resurfacing

It’s about learning how to work with the patterns themselves.

The Belonging Reset™ — At a Glance

  • 6-session structured coaching sessions

  • 45 minute sessions

  • Typically completed over 6–12 weeks

  • Focused on relationship patterns, identity shifts, and life transitions

  • May include optional mindfulness and guided imagery components, depending on your preferences

  • Rooted in archetypal work, the Enneagram, and relational dynamics

  • Designed for individual coaching (not couples)

  • Conducted virtually (internationally available)

BOOK CONSULT

Sometimes a reset is all a pattern needs.

This is where things begin to shift.

The Belonging Reset™ is a structured 6-session coaching experience designed to help you move from awareness to change:

  1. Understand the patterns shaping your relationships, life situation, and identity

  2. Recognize how they show up in real time

  3. Begin responding differently—with more clarity, boundaries, and self-trust

This work is rooted in one core question:

Where—and how—do you experience belonging?

With others.
With yourself.
And within the life you’re creating.

The Belonging Reset Process

See → Shift → Sustain

A structured process designed to move you from awareness into real change.

1. See

Understanding your patterns clearly

We identify the core patterns shaping your relationships, identity, and responses.

This includes:

  • Your dominant archetype patterns (orphan, helper, scapegoat)

  • Emotional patterns and relational dynamics

  • Enneagram patterns and core motivations

  • The roles you tend to step into

Clarity here is what makes change possible.

2. Shift

Interrupting patterns in real time

In this phase, we begin working directly with the moments where your usual responses show up.

You’ll start to:

  • Catch patterns as they’re happening

  • Experiment with new ways of responding

  • Strengthen boundaries and emotional regulation

  • Tolerate the discomfort that comes with doing things differently

Optional mindfulness and guided imagery practices may be used to deepen pattern awareness and support shifting your responses in real time.

3. Sustain

Building a new way of being and relating

We focus on integrating what’s changed so it continues beyond the coaching program experience.

This includes:

  • Strengthening your sense of self and internal belonging

  • Creating more aligned relational dynamics

  • Developing consistency in how you show up

The goal isn’t perfection.

It’s a different experience of yourself in your own life.

What this work supports.

Clients often come into this work experiencing patterns such as:

  • Repeating the same relationship dynamics despite wanting something different

  • Overthinking, worry, or emotional intensity in dating and relationships

  • Difficulty setting or maintaining boundaries

  • People-pleasing or over-giving patterns

  • Feeling disconnected from themselves or unsure of who they are becoming

  • Navigating relocation or life transitions where old patterns resurface

This work provides a focused space to understand these patterns—and begin changing how you respond to them

Who this is for

This work may be a strong fit if you:

  • Are ready for both insight and change

  • Feel stuck in patterns that keep repeating in relationships, identity, or life direction

  • Are navigating a transition (dating, relocation, life shift) and want to show up differently

  • Are drawn to or open to deeper frameworks like archetypes, attachment, or the Enneagram—and want to actually apply them

    • Some clients also find it helpful to explore their patterns through media, film, archetypes, dreams, or symbolic narratives that mirror their lived experience.

  • Want a structured, focused coaching process

Format

The Belonging Reset™ is a structured, time-bound coaching program designed to create meaningful movement in a focused period.

The Program Includes:

  • Six 45-minute coaching sessions integrating insight and behavioral change work

  • Weekly or bi-weekly scheduling

  • A clear, structured process where each session builds on the previous

Between sessions, you may receive guided prompts or reflections to support integration.

Investment

This is a focused, high-touch coaching experience designed to help you shift patterns that often persist for years.


The Belonging Reset™

  • A 6-session, 1:1 coaching program

  • $1800 total investment for the complete Belonging Reset™ experience (Fees are listed in USD. I work with clients worldwide.)

You don’t need more insight alone.
You need a way to work with it.

→ Start with The Belonging Reset™

You don’t need more insight alone. You need a way to work with it

If you’re ready to understand your patterns and begin moving in the world differently, we can start there.

If you’re ready to actually change how you show up—you can apply to work with me 1:1.

This is for people who are ready to go deeper, get specific, and create real change in how they relate to themselves and others.

APPLY FOR 1:1 COACHING
BOOK A CONSULT

Hear Me Talk About This Work

I recently spoke about these patterns in more depth on a podcast episode.

In it, I explore what I call the Belonging Pattern—the drive to find connection, approval, and place, and how it shapes how we show up in relationships, work, and identity.

In the episode, I break down how the orphan, helper, and scapegoat archetype patterns often intertwine—especially for people who find themselves over-giving, over-functioning, or questioning where they truly belong.

I also share how these patterns show up in real relationships—and what it looks like to start shifting them.

If you want a deeper look into how this work applies in real life, you can listen here:
Listen to the episode here →

This is about your desire for belongingness

The Belonging Pattern™

A FREE 3-part series exploring the orphan, helper, and scapegoat archetype patterns — and how they shape identity, relationships, and self-worth.

GET THE SERIES

Testimonials

  • “Sharp, quick witted and deeply compassionate, with a good dose of funny and unconventional. I enjoy how Rebecca works but even more, I enjoy her as a human.”

    Drew Newkirk LPC, LMHC

    drewnewkirk

  • “Rebecca brings a calm, guiding wisdom to her approach with her clients. From the first time you speak with her, you will feel her safe energy and wisdom"”

    Laura Beaver, LCSW

    laurabeaver

  • “Rebecca brings a very calming energy, and has a thoughtful approach to her sessions and client needs. Definitely seek out services with her if you're in need!”

    Alisha Bowker, LCSW

    alishabowker

  • “Rebecca is kind-hearted, deeply compassionate, and genuinely engaging. Her gentle approach is based on nurturing people's abilities to face themselves.”

    Debashis Dutta, PHD, RSW

    debashisdutta
~Rainer maria rilke~

“The only journey is the one within”

Questions About the Work

  • Most people don’t come in needing more information—they come in because something keeps repeating.

    The work focuses on helping you:

    • See your patterns more clearly (not just intellectually, but in real time)

    • Understand what’s driving them beneath the surface

    • Shift how you respond—internally and externally

    That can look like:

    • Less mental looping or over-analysis

    • More clarity in decisions

    • Stronger boundaries and self-trust

    • A different relationship to stress, worry, identity, or uncertainty

    The goal isn’t perfection or total resolution in six sessions.
    It’s meaningful movement—where something that felt stuck begins to shift.

  • Six sessions creates enough space to move beyond surface insight and actually work with a pattern.

    One or two sessions can bring awareness—but often not change.
    Long-term work can be valuable, but not everyone is looking for something open-ended.

    This container sits in the middle:

    • Focused, but not rushed

    • Deep, but still structured

    It allows us to identify a core pattern, understand it, and begin shifting how you relate to it—while staying intentional about the work.

  • It’s both—but not in a prescriptive way.

    This isn’t a space where you’ll be told what to do.
    But it’s also not passive exploration without direction.

    We work to:

    • Understand your patterns clearly

    • Name what’s happening in real time

    • Explore alternative ways of responding

    When it’s helpful, I’ll offer reflections, frameworks, or direction—but always in a way that keeps you connected to your own decision-making.

    The goal is not dependence on guidance.
    It’s strengthening your ability to see and respond differently on your own.

  • Yes.

    Because this is a structured container, it can actually provide a consistent point of reflection during periods that feel otherwise ungrounded.

    Sessions are virtual and designed to meet you where you are—geographically and psychologically.

  • This work can be supportive for people who notice OCD patterns—especially mental compulsions like rumination, reassurance-seeking, or over-analysis.

    In coaching, we focus on:

    • Recognizing the pattern as it’s happening

    • Understanding the underlying drivers (certainty, control, responsibility, etc.)

    • Shifting your relationship to those patterns

    This is not a replacement for clinical OCD treatment (like ERP), but it can complement therapy or support you in continuing to work with these patterns in a more integrated way.

  • Yes—many people use this work alongside therapy.

    Therapy often focuses on healing, processing, and treating mental health concerns.
    Coaching here is more about:

    • Applying insight in real time

    • Tracking patterns as they show up in your current life

    • Working with identity, decision-making, and direction

    If you’re already doing deeper work in therapy, this can act as a bridge between insight and lived change.

  • Yes—this work tends to resonate with people in transition.

    When your environment, relationships, or sense of structure changes, underlying patterns often become more visible:

    • Questions around identity or belonging

    • Difficulty making decisions without a clear anchor

    • Old coping patterns resurfacing in new contexts

    We work with those patterns directly, so you’re not just reacting to change—but understanding how you move through it.

  • Absolutely, we love personality systems here!

    If you’re drawn to the Enneagram, it usually means you already have a level of self-awareness.
    This work builds on that—but doesn’t stay at the level of labeling or typing.

    We use frameworks (like the Enneagram, archetypes, or schema patterns) to:

    • Deepen understanding

    • Track patterns more precisely

    • Move beyond insight into actual shifts

    So it’s about working with what your type reveals.